Tugboat's photography journal

I am going to try and start from the very beginning (of this pregnancy)

part 1

Finding out we were going to have a baby!

My due date from the doctors was actually April 26th

One Sunday morning I was feeling dizzy, I posted it on facebook, a couple people said "are you pregnant?" and I responded with "definitely not" after all, I had just had my period a few weeks ago. It wasn't possible.

Fast forward a week or two and Jordan, Adeline, Porky and I went on a weekend getaway for our anniversary. I was tired, waking up in the middle of the night to pee, and had heartburn. One of the nights when I had heartburn and making a trip to the bathroom I thought to myself " I sure am having a lot of pregnancy symptoms." BUT I NEVER, EVER THOUGHT I WAS PREGNANT. It didn't even cross my mind as a possibility at that point. I just assumed I was overly hydrated and eating foods that were giving me heartburn. And the tiredness- I attributed to a busy 1 year old on vacation.

One morning I decided that I should just take a pregnancy, I had a test just sitting there and it had been a few weeks since I had my period. I totally expected it to be negative. To my shock it was positive! I called my sister right away. My husband was at work, and I didn't want to tell him at work. So I texted him, faking something so he had to come home right away. He did. And on the table he found blocks that said "baby # 2" with the pregnancy test. He was quite shocked! It had taken us so long to get pregnant with Adeline, so getting pregnant without trying was new to us. We were both so excited and so in shock!

How I chose to deliver in Waconia when a hospital is 2 miles away.

I am a birth photographer, and have been blessed to witness a lot of babies being born. I also have the privilege to see doctors and midwives at work during births. There was one that when I witnessed her at a birth, I just thought she was EXACTLY the midwife I had always wanted. I loved how hands on she was, her thoughts, how she guided the birthing mama, how she just seemed to know what position would be best for her, she explained things and I love that. It was like midwife sparks went off for me. I would secretly nod my head in agreement with her on things she would say. And then I found out that if I saw her, she would for sure deliver my baby (unless she was on vacation, or sick). I was in midwife love at that point. Oh and I love the tubs at Waconia! So I made the switch. (and had a fabulous experience there)

Pregnancy

This pregnancy went really well, I didn't have high blood pressure (like I did with Adeline), I wasn't nervous (like I was with Adeline), I was just soaking it all up. I did have really bad hip pain that caused me to walk like I was 137 years old. Towards the end each visit my blood pressure was going up. At 36 weeks I was sent to the hospital twice for monitoring, had to take a 24 hour urine test, I had to get some blood tests, and swelling had definitely started to increase. After all that it was determined I did NOT have pre eclampsia. Woohoo!

Ultrasound photo The day before Luke was born!

The Birth Story!

The night before my 37 week appointment I took a shower and kept having this nagging feeling that I should straighten my hair in case they send me to the hospital and I didn't come home. But I told myself that I would probably go get monitored but "limp" through for at least another week. I went to my 37 week appointment and had pretty high blood pressure, met with my midwife, and it was decided that it would be best that the baby come today! At my 36 week appointment we had kind of already discussed the "why" with gestational hypertension studies have shown that it is a progressive disease and is cured by delivery. Which means my blood pressure would continue to climb until delivery. I had made it known to my midwife that I was totally fine with induction, I had been induced with Adeline and didn't mind it and had no complications from it. But I didn't want my blood pressure to become too high where I wouldn't be able to get out of bed, or move around or of course any of the dangers that come with too high of blood pressure.

So my midwife sent me home to grab my hospital bag, and told me to head to the hospital! How exciting! I couldn't believe that today was the day! I called my husband, told him not to leave work yet, since we didn't know how long it would take to get me admitted, start the induction process, etc. At 2 PM I was admitted and they were going to start the pitocin, so I called him at work and said "ok, leave work and come to the hospital, but first grab these items I forgot at home" haha. :) I was started on pitocin started at 2 and upped by 2 every 30 minutes. I was having contractions every 1-4 minutes throughout the day, but I could ignore them, talk through them, they were a breeze.

April 7th, sitting on the peanut, enjoying the easy contractions!

At about 6 pm my midwife and nurses had said that if things weren't happening by 9 PM then we would shut off the pitocin overnight and do two doses of cytotek. Then assess again in the morning. And that is what we did. At about 10 PM I sent Jordan home to get some good sleep, and I went to sleep. In the morning my midwife checked me and said that things were definitely changing (my cervix went from posterior to anterior), but I was still 2 cm dilated. We started pitocin again in the morning, my midwife had some clinic appointments to go to, but said she cleared her afternoon to have a baby! That got me excited! I was ready to get into active labor and meet this precious boy!

THIS IS WHERE THINGS GET INTERESTING

At 2 PM I sent Jordan to go get some pizza for himself while they broke my water. so he would be there when I need him after my water was broken. I giggled feeling the water come out (I did the same with Adeline), because it is just a weird sensation! It was clear water. Woohoo! The very next contraction... WAS SO INCREDIBLY INTENSE. WOAH! Of course Jordan 8 blocks away getting pizza (per my orders), but who knew it would pick up so quickly! I think I only had a couple contractions before he came back. He ate his pizza in record time and was by my side. I rested on him during my contractions. I was standing and bending over the bed for a little bit, but I wanted to try and sit on the peanut ball. They suggested I wait for Jordan to get back just so there was a support person there in case I slipped or fell or something. So I had Jordan get the peanut ball, and I spread my legs for him to put the peanut in between my legs, and out came a monsoon for what seemed like an eternity! As the nurse said when she saw it " I leaked a copious amount of amniotic fluid" haha. :) They used a blanket to clean it all up. The towels were just too small. I sat on the peanut, and I HATED it. I sat on it through one contraction, but anything touching my belly during a contraction was NOT ok. and the peanut and my legs were touching my belly. NO GO. So I went back to standing. I would lean onto Jordan during the contractions, and get onto my tippy toes. Don't ask me why I went on my tippy toes. The pain, I guess. Jordan and I joked around a bit at the funny noises I make during the contractions. At this point the contractions were super intense but in between the contractions I could laugh, joke and talk to everyone. I messaged the birth photographer telling her to come now. And I told my midwife that the intensity of the contractions make me think I am 7 cm dilated ( I was comparing it to Adeline's delivery) but I didn't feel I was in transition yet, because I had none of the signs of being in transition, so I said " I would guess I was a 6, but not sure" I hadn't been checked at all since my water, so we checked and I was at a 5-6. DANG I AM GOOD! After that I tried to lay on my side for a contraction but the weight of my belly hanging, hurt WAY too much! No way. Couldn't do it. I had asked if I could go in the tub, but with pitocin and having to be monitored we just couldn't yet. So I went back to standing. Oh and I had also tried squatting.. hated it as well. Same thing.. anything touching my belly was NOT gonna happen. At this point I was scared to try anymore laboring positions because if I hated it, I just didn't want to go through a contraction of hating it. The recliner was brought up by my midwife or nurse a couple times and I kept saying that I was scared to try it. Jordan chimed in and he said "I think you will really like it" and then the nurse or midwife ( I wasn't opening my eyes much so I am not certain) said that I can recline back when I have a contraction and that I might really like that" that appealed enough to me to try it. I was definitely happy with the recliner. I was able to fully relax and focus on relaxing in between the contractions, and on the recliner nothing touched my belly. Well except this one time the nurse was touching my belly, and then I started having a contraction and I said "don't touch my belly" I still feel bad about that. But wow was my belly sensitive! I really found my groove with the recliner. Jordan would rub my head and he always had his hand on me, which I found so comforting. With all my breathing my breath my mouth was dry and I felt like it stunk. And I said to Jordan "I hope you can't smell my breath, it doesn't smell very good" Then my birth photographer said she had gum, and asked if I would like it! HECK YES! That was really nice to get a fresh taste in my mouth! And help with the dryness I was having. Even though Jordan was offering me water it didn't take the icky taste in my mouth. So the gum was fabulous! And then I got chapstick on, and I was like renewed and back in my zone. I remember envisoning ocean waves, and when I felt like I couldn't take the contraction anymore, I knew I only had 10 seconds of that before the contraction would calm down (like a wave, it would rise, peak and fall). My midwife had to go leave to deliver another baby. I was in my zone and not opening my eyes at that point, so I honestly didn't even notice. Until I started to feel pressure and was in the recliner I told the nurse it felt good to push. The nurse got my midwife, and she was going to check me, so I got up from the recliner, which of COURSE I had a contraction, why is it every time a woman in labor goes to move she gets a contraction? Here is the most awesome/funny/ or worst part.. however you look at it.. I was pushing when I was having contractions so when I got up from the recliner I leaned on the bed and I was softly pushing, but my midwife of course has to be down there and check everything, and this push water comes out!! I was 8 cm dilated. At that point we lowered pitocin a bit and started filling the tub, because I had been asking to go in the tub, she wanted to try, but we had to wean me off pitocin, and we didn't want to just shut it off and have labor just stop.

We tried to have me lay on my side in the bed, but it just hurt too much to have my belly hang like that. I think I was partially on my side, but not SO on my side where my belly hung. At first the pushes I was doing were just to relieve the pressure I was feeling. It felt good to push and I feel like they were pretty gentle. But then the involuntary pushes came. I wasn't fully dilated when they came, but there is just nothing I could do at that point, it was completely my body pushing at that point. This time is pretty blurry to me. So it might not be in the correct order, etc. I tried a few times to be funny, but my funny attempts were more about how I didn't want to do this anymore. I also felt like I was giving commentary. I would say " I feel like I am ripping into two" " I am pooping!!" - which by the way, I wasn't. They informed me that it was just the baby moving down that made it feel like that. I also said " can we order the epidural" my midwife said "Tara, we are having this baby" and the nurse said "I bet by 5:30" and then I said "is it 5:20 PM?" that was my attempt at a funny. haha. I honestly was just scared this would go on forever, which is the only reason I said I wanted the epidural, I more or less just wanted the needle guy sitting there waiting for me in case it was going to be much longer. The encouragement I got from my midwife when she said "Tara, we are having this baby" sunk in, and I never thought of the epidural again, I started to focus on what was going on. I also asked at that point if they could see him and they said yes. They asked if I wanted a mirror and I said no, I just want him out. I prayed out loud to God, I can't remember exactly what I prayed, but I believe it was something along the lines of either "help me do this" or "get him out" one of those.. :) He was born a VERY short time later! My midwife told me she could see Luke spin before he came out. I firmly believe it was God helping me get him out. I felt God so strongly during the pushing phase. I know He was there with me helping me get through it and helping Luke get out quickly. Luke was born at 5:32 PM I pushed for about 20 minutes, but was only fully dilated for a few minutes before he was born. At the end my blood pressure got a little scary high (not needing magnesium high, but higher than the midwife and nurse liked) but he was born before the next blood pressure reading came, and right after he was born I had almost perfect blood pressure! I remember visualizing Luke coming out, and was pushing with all my might when he was born, I may have been making some loud noises, but I heard my midwife say something, I honestly can't remember what she said, but I *think* it was something along the lines of "Tara you can grab your baby" I had in my birth plan I wanted to grab him and place him on my chest (belly, since we did delayed cord clamping) I opened my eyes and saw my baby between my legs, and the blue umbilical cord. It is a visual that may be foggy for me, but I will NEVER forget. A truly amazing experience to see him between my legs. I grabbed him, and placed him on my belly.
We did delayed cord clamping, and once Jordan cut the cord we took my shirt off and did skin to skin contact. We were really excited to see what he weighed, because well we knew we weren't having a super small little guy! ;) He was 8 lbs 6 oz of perfection. Luke latched on and nursed right away!

PS- I have a video of Luke's birth as well. No privates are shown, if interested let me know! I will send you the link and password.