Sex, Marriage& fairytales

I love this poem. I can't even tell you how much I love this video!! It is so awesome! And so true!!!





LOVE these quotes from this poem:


-If your marriage rests on anything but Jesus it's resting on something broken.


-If our dollars were honest it would say " in pleasure we trust"


-Pursue Jesus as your foundation before you get under the covers


-Til death do us part really means until the feelings go away


-imagine if a parent took that perspective with their kids


-Its not the love that sustains the promise, its the promise that sustains the love.


- some guys propose on their knee, Jesus proposed on a cross!



YOU HAVE TO WATCH THE VIDEO, SERIOUSLY, IT IS SO GOOD.  It just speaks to me! I am very passionate about marriage, and I love learning all about marriage, the good and the bad.


for more marriage posts from me you can go here.

marriage

Patience is something I have always struggled with. I can let the silliest things drive me crazy. For example, my husbands jaw clicks when he eats certain things. Not his fault, nor can he control it. But one day I got up and moved spots so I didn't have to listen to it. I would have been so hurt if that was me. I can't believe I let such a small silly little thing allow me to get up and move, and insult anyone, let alone MY HUSBAND, like that.. That is ridiculous on my part. Why should it bother me? It is simply a noise. I am embarrassed that I let that get to me. How trivial.

That is just one example... and I have thousands of things I have done because I don't have much patience. And it is quite embarrassing.

I have noticed so many AMAZING changes since I have really started to focus on my relationship with Jesus. I really have. I wake up in a better mood, I don't get ridiculous over as many silly things as before ( " I am no where near where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be" Joyce Meyer quote) I can honestly love and appreciate my husband 10 fold what I was before. And I am so thankful for that. Marriage is hard, and I didn't realize how hard it would be, at times, but oh man IT IS TOTALLY WORTH IT! I love my husband more and more every day!

Today, at lunch I came home quick and he made me a candle light lunch!! How sweet is that!! seriously. I love him to pieces.

 I remember when we were dating, we went on a retreat through our church at the time, and I was sitting there thinking and praying that I would marry this man. And oh how badly I wanted to be married, to him, and thinking to myself "he was so amazing".

I may have went through a little time here and there where I didn't think he was all that amazing, but that was my craziness. I wasn't appreciative of what was right in front of me. I didn't appreciate him for who he was. Which is a shame, and all I can say is I am glad I figured it out so quickly in my marriage. I feel like some never figure it out.

 Out of the 2.5 years we have been married I can honestly say I love him more and more every day, and I cant imagine the crazy love relationship we will have in 50 years from now!



Michelle Huber photography



HE IS MY LOBSTER.
(from an episode of friends... Phoebe says it) :)


PS- Now just to get this straight, my husband isn't normally a candlelight dinner kind of guy. Nor is he perfect. So if you are reading this and thinking "I wish my husband was like that" I can assure you, I could tell you things about my husband (or anyone other than your husband) and you would really appreciate your husband. It has been really hitting me hard, how important our attitudes are. It is all about perspective. Appreciate what you have, and be thankful for it, each and every day. period.

LOVE this quote. (got this from pinterest)

photo source

Marriage

I love this. times 1000.



Plans

They just never go how you plan them!! 

Man,  it is nice being home! These past 5 or 6 days are a blur! I took a 4 day weekend starting on Thursday last week (from my full time job) to get caught up on editing, house work and plan out my diet and really dive into the diet. Well that didn't happen.

Thursday I got a fair amount done, but I spent some time dilly dallying and just enjoying my day off.  Friday I had a photo session, went to lunch, started some editing,  Friday is when my worrying increased about my husband. I knew he was sick for quite some time. I started asking questions, started getting more and more worried. But he had a doctors appointment on Monday so he would tell me " I will just finish out my work week and go to the doctor" well after talking to a couple people and telling them whats going on, and my concerns and how he was looking and acting they said that he should go to the emergency room. I totally agreed with what these people were saying, but at the same time, I could understand where my husband was coming from too.                                                            

On Friday night I just had a feeling  that it was no joke anymore. I was searching for the nurses line, calling his work, telling his co worker to keep a close eye on my hubby, to make sure he wasn't alone for anytime too long in case he passed out. and I just prayed that he would make it through the night  until we made it to the urgent care. They saw him in urgent care right away, they hooked him up to IV's pretty much immediately, they didn't have the capability of giving him the care he needed so they sent us to the emergency room. so we went to ER, he had a cat scan, and talked to different doctors and nurses. They decided he needed to go to the hospital.

 In the ER they did discover that he wouldn't need surgery or anything, that was a huge relief! (well that was before we knew we would be spending 5 days in the hospital. but i suppose I am still glad he didn't need surgery)

 Off to the hospital we went. He got a private room, which was nice. The first night was a rough one. He had 102.8 fever, he threw up, had coughing attacks and up and out of bed every 10 minutes ( I swear) Each day I saw improvement. 

Now that we are home I am just waiting for his energy level to come back up and for his wonderful personality to shine the way it used to. I say used to because he has been dealing with this since June. It started off as a cough, which I think was the first sign of inflammation, then went to his joints then into his digestive system. So I am so excited for him to get back to his 100% self! That we haven't been able to see in a long time! 


I will say this, I feel like going through this with him, and being able to be there for him the entire time really has connected us even more, and bonded us as a family even more. 

My wifely duties

My wifely duties could really use some clean up/work/tune up. However you want to say it, I need to up my game as a wife.  I need to be better at tending to my husband. He has been feeling not so good for the past month (roughly) his crohns (crohns disease)  seems to be acting up lately, and now all of a sudden he is having a hard time walking, and his joints are really sore and his ankle is swollen and bruised with no injury. I have done some research and it sounds to me like Rheumatoid arthritis. Which happens to go hand in hand with crohns. It is hard to watch your husband walk around like an 80 year old man (I tease) at first, it was fun to tease, and it was a little cute. However, it isn't cute anymore, and has become scary. I don't want to see him in any pain or uncomfortable. I have all of these plans that I want to do. I want to make menu's that we know what he can eat (gluten and dairy free) for breakfast, lunch and dinner, so we can always have those groceries on hand.  I want to research recipes that he will eat so he can bring them to lunch, and not have to refridgerate and heat up food, because he doesn't like that. I want to bake him snacks that he will eat so he can more frequently. I want to clean my house better and more often, I want to take care of myself for him more consistantly and better. I want to be his biggest supporter. I want to take the stress off of him as much as possible.

photo credit

I so struggle with balance. OK And a little laziness... I like to be a princess too..
 I typically am an all or nothing kind of gal... and a lot of things get pushed to nothing because only a few things get the "all". I really need to learn balance a LOT better, see I have all these great ideas, and only a few get implemented into my life, and then I change because i want to focus on other things, and then the cycle continues. I think I need to make a daily list and stick to that. And first up on that list is taking care of my husband and making sure his needs are being met, and he isn't stressed out and that he will be on the mend shortly.

lately

Life has been busy for me lately and I am really enjoying it!  I am starting to feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel as far as my to do list! Woohoo! I scrubbed my floors tonight! That is a huge feat!   Tonight, I ran out of excuses, or I decided I had to run or clean the floors and I opted for cleaning floors. :)

Last Sunday I ran my very first 5k (well if you don't count warrior dash, but that was insane, I feel like it wasn't even a real 5k, it was just 3 miles of craziness) I am so happy with how I did! My time was about 37 minutes! It isn't the best in running in fact I placed overall 109 out of 150. But I don't care. I beat my time by over 3 minutes, and that is what I am proud of! I ran the last .2 miles as hard as I could! I thought I was gonna throw up as I reached the finish line, that is what I am proud of. My husband and I waking up and doing active things together, that is what I am proud of! I loved every minute of it! I felt great!



Monday was our 2 year anniversary. We decided we would keep it low key, we went out to breakfast at the original pancake house, got home, took Porky for a walk, I scouted out some locations for some photo shoots, we hung out, went to dinner and rented 2 movies. It was really nice low key day that  I wanted. :)

independent woman

First off I would like to start out by saying that I went up and down 11 flights of stairs today and walked 5.5 miles! Yesterday I ran the longest I have ran and did my fastest 5k! :) {insert happy dance}

I am in independent woman. I always have been. My mom always tells stories how when I was little I would just play for hours by myself and you would never hear a peep out of me. I do what I like to do...what can I say.. I never really thought anything of it until the other day. I was watching The Duggars  (you know the ones that have 20 children and counting) TLC had a special on the oldest son and the birth of their second child. I watched the wedding, and the birth of their first one and then their birth of their second child. Call me weird but I love that show. They are such nice people, yes they are a bit extreme in some circumstances, but I really like a lot of the things they do/say. I love how kind they are to each other, how loving they are to each other, I like that they read the bible every single day, they do volunteer stuff as a family,  modesty is great to have (ok so maybe I don't want to go as modest as they are) and I love love love the rule of never raising their voice. That is something I struggle with big time.. If I am upset I am either yelling or crying or few lucky fella's named husband, puppy get to see them both in action.

Anyways so as I was watching The duggars I was watching Anna and Josh (newly husband and wife) and the mom and dad (of 20) and just how interact with their spouses. It mesmorized me. Anna and Michelle are both always there for their husbands, encouraging them, giving them support. That is awesome. I am not like that, and I wish I was a little bit more. I need to work on being more of an encouraging and supportive wife.

 When you live day to day it is hard to find where you are supposed to be encouraging and supportive (at least for me) I am not going to be "Yay husband, you eat that grapefruit!" "Way to shower!" But I would love to build my husbands confidence and trust with my words. Instead often times I feel like it is a unconscious competition between us for who is right in the argument.

The women also don't ever show that they are annoyed with their husbands or children. HOW DO THEY DO THAT?!! i have such a sharp tongue that even when I mean to be subtle the whole world knows THAT  annoyed me. (don't worry you can read every emotion my husband has very easily too).

I really want to focus on creating an unbreakable bond with my husband. I want to not just "stay married" I want to be the happiest married couple EVER. I know fights, disagreements and not seeing eye to eye will happen, especially when we have children, he is such a softy I am pretty sure he will never discipline our future children, where I think we need to raise kids to become good adults and therefore discipline when the actions aren't appropriate. Ok that totally made me sound like a bitch, but I promise I am not, I have the softest heart for kids, but when they become old enough and naughty I will use some sort of discipline, whether it be a finger pointing at them, counting to three, time outs or whatever. I am aiming to use the timeout method since that is always what i see on super nanny. :) Okay anyways back to what I was talking about... I know we will have disagreements but  I want our marriage to be so strong that those little tiffs don't affect more than 5-10 minutes of our day. I want us to always go to bed happy with each other and our life together. I want us to always talk to each other first, and discuss things and come up with a plan together. Not individually come up with a plan, stumble across the subject and battle it out to see who's plan is best.

I have created a plan of action for my husband and I! Lucky him, right!

pray together every night
read laughing your way to a better marriage together
bible study once a week together ( I have a couples bible/bible study book I bought when we got engaged)
date night once a week
never go to bed angry with one another


so that is our action plan! I am excited about it! I know for me personally there is a lot of improving I have to do as a wife. I need to remember to love my husband the way he appreciates (the 5 love languages) which I have a hard time remembering. But his are receiving gifts  and quality time. My language of love is acts of service and physical touch. The definitions are below.. because I find all this stuff so interesting! I love learning about marriage and people.

receiving gifts(husband)- Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.


Quality time(husband)-In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.


acts of service(me)- Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.


physical touch (me) - This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

got these definitions from here

Thoughts on marriage -wedding post

thoughts on marriage: what is the easiest/hardest part? if you could change anything, what would it be?





The easiest part about marriage.. well that is a tough one. I don't know if I would say there is an "easiest" I think the most fun about marriage is always having someone there to tell your story too, always having someone there to smile at/with, laugh at/with, role your eyes at/with, cry with, sit with, hug with, cuddle with. Always someone there by your side no matter what. That is what marriage is all about. I think some (there are circumstances in everything and situations) people are so selfish. Marriage is all about the other person. If you think to yourself " I am getting married so MY needs can be met" well I am sorry to tell you that you either need to re adjust your thinking, or your headed for divorce. Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes, we all are crazy, we all fall short in some way. Marriage is sticking through that, marriage is seeing past that. So if someone says " I will stay with you until you no longer meet my needs" well then it is inevitable that they will part ways. 




I always have to tell/remind myself that marriage is not about the "I" game. "I do this... I do this... I do that... I am this way..." instead if I would TRULY tried and got to know my husband and what made him tick, how his thought process works we wouldn't really run into many issues at all and have a mind boggling good marriage!   


NOW with all that being said... IT has to go both ways. One person can't GIVE GIVE GIVE GIVE and the other TAKE TAKE TAKE. That would just lead to utter disaster. 


So hmmm the hardest part... learning to understand/accept the way my husband thinks and sees things. 






if I could change anything would I? No, because after every storm there is a rainbow that makes it all worth it. :)

12. favorite part of the day and least favorite part of the day-wedding post

12. favorite part of the day and least favorite part of the day: can be anything.




MY favorite part of the day- 


well the most obvious- marrying my husband. Dedicating and vowing in front of my family, friends and God to spend the rest of my life with the hubby, is amazing. But ok besides that part... these are way farther down on the list, just so you know. :) 


Wearing my cinderella dress. :) I LOVED IT
having an event held for just the 2 of us! 
the amazing pictures that came with it! 
The excitement and buzz of the day! 




My least favorite part of the day-


Everyone left early at my wedding. I remember dancing with my dad and asking what time it was and he said 10:30 pm, and so many people had left, that made me sad.  I was afraid no one would be left at the end of the night, but it actually seemed like those there at 10:30 were there until bar close. :) So it ended up not being a big deal at all, I just remember feeling a slight panic moment. 


BEING SO SWEATY! I danced the entire reception!! I was so hot! Why didn't I think to stop and go outside? I don't know. I was just in my zone. hehe. 

11. your song and/or the first song- wedding challenge

11. your song and/or the first song you danced to at your wedding: share a music video or lyrics if you can!

OK so funny thing about our first dance.... I have no idea what it was!! They played the wrong song!! I didn't care that much, we just danced. It didn't make any sense for me to stop the whole wedding and point my finger at our DJ and say "escuse me, you are playing the wrong song!" How is that romantic?? haha. So we just danced. It was a Bryan Adams song. but that is all I can tell you. And honestly, I don't remember our original song we picked out. It was great and I did love it, but I just went with the flow and danced to the unknown song, while my friend is on the sideline mouthing "THIS IS THE WRONG SONG" hehe. :) 

10. the cake/food

10. the cake/food: i love food. so tell me about what you had at your wedding!

Here was our beautiful and oh so delcious muddy paws wedding cake! YUM YUM! The husband has a gluten allergy so me and him I got one bite shared a piece of the special gluten free cheesecake! Both were delicous! 

I don't have any pictures of our dinner. It was really good though! We had chicken, veggies and rice! YUM! I was so busy I hardly remember eating though. 

Wedding post challenge- the accessories

the little accessories: you know, veil? shoes? jewelry? what did your bridesmaids wear?


Ok so I am too lazy to upload my professional pictures to my computer right now, they are such high quality that it takes FOREVER. So I won't be able to give you all the detail pictures. But I am sure you are okay with that! :) 


My veil- I loved it! From Davids bridal
Shoes-ABSOLUTELY LOVED I got them for $20 at Deb. They are still awesome. :) 
Jewelry- my earrings were a gift from the lovely hubby. The necklace I borrowed from a good friend, she wore it on her wedding. :) 


My bridesmaid wore jewelry that I bought them for a gift and from JCpenny and the dresses were from Davids bridal. :) 

Wedding Challenge- The reception

9. the reception: where was it at? show us some pictures! what day did you get married?




The reception was at The legion in my hometown. I wish it could have been a little nicer of a place, but at the same time, I couldn't fathom spending too much money just on the location. I tried to always keep in mind that the wedding was about how much Jordan and I loved each other, and that we were vowing to spend the rest of our lives together. It is so easy to get caught up in the wedding and want everything perfect and go tens of thousands of dollars in debt, and that is just not what I wanted. We had a beautiful,small (50 guests),elegant ceremony and the reception was around 200 people. My family is huge and I wanted to make sure everyone could come! And the compromise for the hubby and I was small ceremony and  big reception. His side of the family is very small, where I have 200 people in my family. So anyways I digress... I liked it at the legion, I wasn't too concerned with the looks of it, i wanted to make sure that we had an awesome DJ (which we totally did) and the food was good and good cupcakes! :) I decided to cut from the budget a little bit and not hire the professional photographer for the reception, since all I did was dance the entire night anyway. So the pictures are limited. My mom and sister and I worked really hard at decorating the place and I think it turned out AWESOME. We got married on a Saturday August 22, 2009. 

Wedding Challenge- The Dress

the dress: was it what you always imagined? did you have it made for you? white or ivory?


The dress was white. It had detail throughout the dress,unfortunately pictures don't show it very well. It was my cinderella dress! :) 




My dress was everything I imagined! :) Growing up I loved Cinderella, it was my first movie I ever watched and my family and I called the dress "my cinderella dress" 

wedding post challenge- the wedding colors/flowers

6. the colors: show some of the flower and colors you used

These pictures were taken by me and my hubbies friend! These are the colors I used. And from this post  I realized that I do not have my professional pictures uploaded onto my computer! I have them all printed and in an album and also on a CD but not on my computer... I found a new project for me! 

wedding challenge- engagement pictures

5. engagement/bridal pictures: let's see em!




I absolutely LOVE my engagement pictures! They are still fun to go back and look at and remember the day! Our photographer was awesome! Michelle Huber Photography took all of these.

You do not have permission to use or print these photos. Please don't steal them. Not only will it make me mad, but also Michelle Huber Photography will be mad. Thanks! :)