Look what I have!

I am so excited! I got 3 cucumbers from my garden today! AND I have tons of growing tomatoes! And I have 1 green pepper gowing!!! WOOOOHOO!! That is like a total success! Well much more successful than my previous attempts. :)

I am so excited! Maybe next year I will try having chickens!

Well... I may not be ready for that yet.


Look at that weird cucumber in the middle! It was on the ground growing, so maybe its like... SUPER INFUSED with nutrients... or something..

Public Speaking & Excellent Language Skills.

Public speaking & excellent language skills are talents I wish I had. I am a horrible speaker, publicly AND one on one. I mumble, talk soft, and I can never think of the correct words to use. I forget simple words like "that" or if I am thinking of something specific you can count on me NOT remembering what it is called. You can count on me forgetting the punch line to jokes, or ONLY remembering the punch line. I fidget, fumble and say stupid things. I rush and ramble. I am a mess when it comes to language.

One time at church we were trying to come up with an acronym for some values and I came up with PECKR.... yep.. before I could even think it, it came out of my mouth. Needless to say the discussion was closed and never brought up again after that. Um, embarrassing.

I couldn't think of the word "door" when telling a friend about our door. So I said "the swing-y thing that you walk in and out of" Then as my husband laughed at me (please laugh at me, it is a funny "quirk" about me, I encourage you to laugh and not think too deeply on my lack of talent with speech) I proceeded to say "well, its a good thing you didn't marry me for my goodness with words." OYE.

Oh yes, I am quite elegant with my words.


Part of me would love to get up and teach lessons to adults, bible lessons, photography lessons, etc. However, could you imagine? They would probably leave more confused then when they arrived. Haha!

I contemplate taking a college course on public speaking, or something similar. Now isn't the right time in my life, but it is definitely on my bucket list.

Please excuse the crappy quality of this hilarious picture of my daughter. 

A letter to myself..

I am beautiful. Just the way I am. I don't need to lose weight to be beautiful. I am beautiful now. My body is beautiful. I am attractive. I am worth it. I am worth the effort to take care of myself, to make healthy changes, to pay attention to myself. I am worth it. I deserve it.

10 important things to know when becoming a mom.

10 Important things to know when becoming a mom. 

1.  Sleep will come again. My daughter came in this world and wouldn't go down for the night until 1 AM. Her night time sleep was maybe two 3 hours stretches. She would nurse for 30 minutes at a time. so the most sleep I was getting was 2.5 hours at a time. I was out of it. But it didn't affect me like I thought it would. No matter what time of day/night she needed to nurse I happily got her and nursed her. She would make me smile, and warm my heart, no matter how tired. Even when cluster feeding. (cluster feedings... I should write a whole post about those! They are a doozy, but so worth it!) The time will come where she will magically sleep through the night. It will be fabulous, and you will forget all too quickly about being up all night.

2.  Breastfeeding is worth it (if you can/want to). In the beginning it is hard, it exhausts you, it is worrisome, but once you get your groove it is amazing and so worth it. And honestly, it is easier than bottles (obviously, I am just talking from my experience). I mean whip your boob out and she can eat. Wham, bam, thank you maam. No warming bottles, no dishes. Trust me.. they eat a lot, and that adds up to a lot of dishes. :) I was amazed at how easy it was... once I got the hang of it. I had a struggle at first, it took 4 days for my milk to come in, so Adeline was extremely hungry when it finally did come in. By then the nurse said she lost too much weight and I had to introduce her to the bottle right away, and she preferred the bottle, so it was a struggle to get her to latch and nurse. We fought through it all, and I breastfed for a year. It was great. She self weaned, one day she just refused to nurse, she screamed and cried every time I tried to nurse her. After 3 days of that (don't worry I was giving her bottles when she needed milk) I decided it was not just a nursing strike and she was done. My period had come back at that point and I think my hormones changed and the taste of my milk changed.

3. Trust your gut. You know what is best for your child. You know what works and what doesn't for your child (it takes trial and error). You know your child more than anyone else, you know how to care for your child. Don't get me wrong, I love asking other mom's questions and getting other's opinions. But remember they are just opinions. Things that work miraculously for my child, don't work for the next. Things that I feel are right for my child, aren't right for the next child. If there was a "best way" to mother/parent, WE ALL WOULD KNOW about it! Instead, we as mother's have to trust your gut and do the best we can.

4. Food helps. At least for my child. Once my daughter started on solids (at 6 months old) she started sleeping through the night. If your child seems interested in food, and your pediatrician recommends it, I suggest trying and starting your child on food! It really helped Adeline sleep longer and better.

5. Let go of all preconceived ideas. I had this idea that I could get so much done during the day while taking care of my daughter. I thought I could do it all.  In some cases I am able to get a bunch of things done, but some days all Adeline wants to do is snuggle, or she needs extra attention some days. And it is usually at the most inconvenient time you could think of. I have learned to just embrace this. I put my hands up in the air, and just enjoy her snuggles. I throw my to do list away, and just provide whatever Adeline needs at that time.

6. You can't do it all. This kind of goes with the previous. I thought I could work for the church part time, have my photography business, and be a stay at home mom who takes care of everything, and have it perfect. I thought I would be SKINNY, be beautiful, dishes and laundry done, floors swept and mopped, dinner cooking and child playing quietly when dad arrives home from work. Let me tell you- it doesn't happen that way. In the beginning, food didn't get cooked, floors... I didn't even realize they existed and more often than not I had spit up on my clothes. As I have adjusted to being a mom, I am learning to balance it all much more nicely ( she becomes more and more independent as she gets older, that helps!) But I have also learned to roll with the punches. I now know I can't do it all. I can however, pick up, shower, smell nice, get dinner started and play with Adeline. I just am behind on laundry, dishes, floors, oh the dog... yea he hasn't been walked outside since before it snowed. Just go with it, and love it. You will be so much happier!

7.  More clothes does not make it is easier. Jordan and I are on a budget, a tight one. Getting things for baby was not on the list, so I took any and everything I could from those giving it away. I ended up with twice as much as this picture shows. It actually has been a nightmare. Don't get me wrong, I AM SO THANKFUL FOR IT ALL! However, I kept way too much! Adeline wore EVERY outfit. However, I feel I didn't get to utilize her SUPER ADORABLE outfits as much as I wanted because I was so worried about not getting in the outfits. Bottom line: I kept too many clothes. Now I have a much different idea. Less is more when it comes to baby clothes.

8. Take care of yourself. I am embarrassed for myself when I look back at what I looked like most of the time after having Adeline. I never looked in the mirror, I only dressed out of pajamas if I had to. (my jobs allow me to wear whatever I want.. a blessing and a curse)  I never did my hair, I never wore contacts, I wore slip on ugly shoes, I wore my maternity jeans if I needed to wear jeans, which didn't fit right not pregnant. I wore my belly band not pregnant (and it has seen better days) UGH. So embarrassing!! I now am trying to take care of myself and remember to take 10 minutes a day to just feel good about myself. And it is renewing. It feels amazing to do your hair and makeup and get dressed! I hope you listen to this tidbit. I know it feels like you don't have time. I know as a mom you are now on the bottom of the list to take care of, but just for a few minutes of the day, move yourself to the top. It is important. Don't lose your identity.

9. Keep dating your spouse. Having a child is not conducive to having one on one time with your husband. It is really important to keep your relationship fresh. Parenting definitely adds new stresses on the relationship. Keeping the relationship on the top of the important list will make your life so much easier. I mean your child was born because of the love you have for each other. I find reminding myself daily on reasons I love my husband makes me fall more and more in love with him. 

10. Sneak in the snuggles when you can.

What's on my mind...

I just took this photo of Jordan and Adeline cuddling. Melt my heart. It was the sweetest thing ever. Now I am obsessed with this photo. 

I really want to lose weight... and need to make a meal plan and count my calories daily. It would help if I enjoyed cooking more... but it isn't my favorite activity. I much prefer organizing and making things look pretty. Hehe.


Yoga... it is something I want to do every day. I really enjoy it. And am so happy when I do it. While learning how to do yoga correctly, I have discovered it is so much more than just doing a pose. It is about engaging muscles, proper stances, and using muscles not your bones for support. And I also learned when doing it properly I am very beginner!


Planking is on my mind.. I have to do it tonight... I should get on that. I am making huge progress. When Adeline was first born I could only do 11 seconds! Now I am up to 1 minute and tonight I will b trying for 1 minute 30 seconds! I am really proud of how I am improving!


Photography is on my mind a lot right now! I am so excited for 2014 and to see what it has in store for my photography business!


Now I need to plank and go to bed!

I choose...

I am not sold on the idea that picking up your house is worth it.. when you have children too young to assist. I work frantically to clean the kitchen, only to walk into our bedroom to find our end table drawers strewn about... I quick clean that up, while giggling at what a cute little booger behind all the rubble, only to walk in the bathroom and stub my toe on her toy she pushed in there when I wasn't looking. I put the toy back in her room to find that she has ripped the toilet paper into 14,756 pieces and as she crawls away she leaves a little shredded trail down the hallway giggling. I pick up all those pieces to return to the kitchen to finish cleaning it up, only to realize it is time to prepare for dinner... It leaves me wondering... is it really necessary to have a nice picked up home? :) 

Ok the answer is NO and YES!  For me anyway. Majority of the day I do let the mess sit and wait. I make sure to enjoy playing with my little ONE YEAR OLD (GASP:: is she really one already?!) However once that little rascal is in bed, I try to muster up the energy to pick up the mess that was made, and then relax for a little while before bed. 

I have learned very quickly that being supermom is not actually something that I can accomplish. I cannot always have a picture perfect house, and enjoy this little peanut. It took me a year, but I have embraced it! I love playing with my little girl, and watching her laugh and making her squeal in pure delight! I choose to make sure I give my child memories over having a spotless house. Because I cannot do both. ( I applaud those that are able to!) 

Earlier this year I would have just played/taken care of Adeline all day and then go to bed which created a very messy home and a stressed out mama. It feels silly to admit that, but I just really struggled in keeping up with my house and my child. I feel like I have a great balance right now! my house is no where near perfect, but things actually get done! 

And that makes me happy! :) 

Ok I am off to bed, because it is far too late and this mama needs some sleep! :) 

2013 in Review

I won't post ALL of my 2013 review, because I HAD A BABY! Every day there is a new and amazing thing going on in this household!  Here we go!!

- had a baby
-my sister had a baby 5.5 weeks after I had Adeline
- learning to be a housewife
-starting a new job at the church, learning and adjusting and finding my groove with it all.  I honestly feel like I am JUST- like this week- finding my stride and groove and starting to excel at my position with my church. I have never been happy with myself and my church work, I just knew I could do better with upkeep in the computer, and really putting my all into it.
-watching my niece part time
-watching my niece unexpectedly went to FULL TIME!!
- NOT watching my niece at all ( my sister opened her own daycare!)
- adjusting to being a mother and balancing it all
- I had roughly 60 photography sessions in 2013, that is awesome! Considering I didn't take any clients for a few months with having Adeline!

2013 was amazing. I became a mother! My niece was born! So many amazing things! This year has truly been a blessing! However it was a hard year for me... SO MUCH ADJUSTING.  I have not been the wife I envisioned I would be, or the domestic goddess I thought  I could be. I have been struggling to stay on top of laundry, and keep the floors mopped and swept. I struggle to provide a hot meal when it is needed to all of my family members (daughter, husband, dog, me) I have really just started feeling more on top of things and like I may be able to conquer the world soon! ( I am guessing when I get to that level another baby will happen and make me start all over again! haha)

here are my goals I made in the beginning for 2013

"(so these are probably a given, but I want to write them down)

- be the best Christian I can be

- be the best wife I can be

- be the best mother I can be

- learn to have more patience

-be better at household things

-save our family as much money as possible by doing things myself,learning things, such as gardening, making our own laundry soap, breastfeeding, etc.

-grow my photography business by double. 

-lose 60 lbs "

Honestly I read these.. .and laughed a little bit. I know exactly what I was thinking and expecting of myself... and I can tell you I was definitely expecting too much! But Something I have learned this year is to learn to not be so hard on myself. 

 here is my evaluation of my goals 

patience: I do believe i have made great strides in my patience! 

Household things: I have gotten better at them! But the challenge has been upped with adding a child, so you can't really tell I have improved! :)

Save money gardening, laundry soap, breastfeeding, etc: The saving money I have done pretty well at! 

Growing my photography business: I am actually really happy with my 2013 business! It has been great! 

lose 60 lbs (this is where I laughed): UMM DIDN'T HAPPEN!! AT ALL! haha! This doesn't surprise me. well it does a little because I THOUGHT FOR SURE I would be AT LEAST at pre baby weight.. but I guess losing weight is harder than I thought. :) 

I am no where near where I want to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be - Joyce Meyer.

COMING SOON 2014 GOALS!

To decorate.. or not.. That is the question

It is my daughters first Christmas and I am so not in the mood to decorate or prepare for Christmas- is that bad?!  I just am not feelin' it right now.  I couldn't wait to decorate for halloween, which is usually a holiday I could care less about. I desperately WANT to WANT to decorate!

I haven't bought or made a single present. I scour pinterest and am bored at all the Christmas things going on. What is wrong with me?!

This is my daughter's first Christmas! I should have EVERYTHING decorated in my house, lights galore, presents galore! homemade gifts!  Money is tight this year... maybe that is dampening my inner decorating goddess?  I don't know.. what's my deal!  I keep hoping that my inner decorating goddess will awaken and say "lets DECORATE!!" while throwing glitter everywhere.

 so far... no go.. BUT I did manage to get THE CUTEST picture of Adeline in front of the Christmas tree! (my moms Christmas tree...)

Wanna know something crazy?

I cannot wait to be in labor and deliver a child again! Seriously. I think I am insane. I had such a wonderful birth experience I can't wait to do it again. I can't wait to see how different/similar it is.

I am hoping a few things are different. I was on bed rest the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy, I am hoping that won't be the case this time. I hope to labor at home for as long as possible next time. I hope instead of having a 23 hour labor, it will be 13 hours or less. I made it 15 hours naturally with pitocin with Adeline. I hope to not need pitocin and to have it be less than 15 hours! I got to 7 CM dilated and wanted to epidural and was scared they wouldn't give it to me... I was so tired and thought I was ripping into two. I felt everything while pushing, but since I did have the epidural I want to know if I really did feel everything, and if it was toned down at all, because it SURE didn't feel like it. Even though I want a few things to be different with my next delivery, I can't wait! Even if I get an epidural and sleep through the whole thing. I just had an amazing experience. I really bonded with Jordan (my husband) during labor, and delivering a child. WOW. I mean WHAT A GIFT FROM GOD!!!  AMAZING! I don't know when I want to have another, we aren't there yet, I can wait to be pregnant again and I can wait to have those sleepless nights again, but labor and delivery... I am so excited for! haha. yes, I am a nut job. 

Oh and don't get me wrong, pregnancy was amazing and having a child is BEYOND amazing, I just am not ready to do those parts again :) 

It's Time

I haven't been that great of a blogger. I do the bare minimum and push it to the back of my mind. But throughout the day I have 1,000 things I want to blog about! Share with you! But it always gets pushed back. As a stay at home mom, I thought I could rule it all! I thought I would have my house clean 100% of the time! I thought I would be working out 7 days a week, making 3 warm amazing meals a day, walking my dog every day, be able to spend all my free time stress free with my husband, plus have unlimited time with my daughter. But the truth is it has been a struggle to juggle. My baby is fussy. I tell everyone "she knows what she wants, how she wants it and when she wants it and she lets us know!!" She eats every 2.5 hours for about 30 minutes at a time. That is a lot of time gone! I am barely keeping up with laundry... ok I am not keeping up I have 4 loads folded, just need putting away, plus some diapers that need to wash (I cloth diaper) I need to pump more to create more of a "stash" floors need mopping, shelves need dusting, carpets need vacuuming, and my daughter needs tending to. I am not complaining at all!! I love it with every piece of my heart and I am so grateful I am staying at home! And I strongly believe this is exactly where God wants us to be.

It is time to get my butt in gear!

I realize now that it isn't as easy as I thought it would be. Sure if I didn't have a little one, I bet you I would totally rock everything!! But babies take more time than I imagined. My goal as a stay at home mom has always been to "live purposefully" with that I mean I don't want my days to wash away and not be productive, I want to make sure each day my family feels loved, I want to spend time with God each day, I want to accomplish something every day. I feel now that she is almost 15 weeks, she is gaining some independence and gives me about 10 minutes of "quick get things done" a few times a day. And I am learning how to get things done in those little moments she lets me. Where before I would walk around aimlessly thinking of everything I need to get done, and how she will wake before I can get it done, or run from room to room not really doing anything. I am finally figuring things out! :) And I know I am totally gonna rock at staying at home! Eventually.  I can't say I am great at it yet, my house is rarely clean, something is always on our floors, my hair is always a mess, and I only have one  baby!

I am learning to rock at it all though!! I have learned that my husband doesn't care that our house isn't 100% clean all the time (which I thought he cared most about, and was a huge insecurity of mine that he didn't think I was doing a good job) my husband cares about me taking care of our daughter and bulldog and having food for us. Having that revelation has really helped me prioritize every day. I am not perfect yet... today he left with no breakfast, and making his own lunch.  But I am becoming more consistent. I promise.

DISCLAIMER: This is just how I want to run things, I want to have lunch prepared for my husband, I want to have breakfast for him, I want him to come home to a warm dinner. I am not not saying every stay at home mom should run this way, it is just how I want to run things.

100 things about me part 1

I just read Mandy's from a sorta fairytale's post of 100 thing part 3, and it inspired me to start this! I think it really helps to get to know people!


Ill be doing this in a 4 part series, just like her :)


1. I'm currently on my iPhone while my husband is sleeping next to me, our bulldog sleeping on top of his legs and a few feet beyond that our daughter sleeping in her swing.

2. I love making schedules but I have a hard time sticking to them.

3. I love sweat socks! I wear them with dress pants, and everyone makes fun of me.

4. I started working at my church, and I am totally loving it!

5. I never realized how hard it is to do things with a child. Wow!! Like housework.

6. I don't like the way any of my clothes fit me.

7. I can feel when I am dehydrated- and I get dehydrated if I don't drink at LEAST 40 ounces of water a day (before pregnancy and nursing.. Now I need more)

8. I cannot fully relax unless things around me are tidy.

9. I want to go skydiving

10. I got to pet a whale when I was 18 in New York. It was awesome! A bucket list item checked off!

11. I don't tan very easily. I alway burn first.

12. I'm a very understanding person.

13. I can't remember the last argument my husband and I got into or when it was.. It's been a while.

14. I love marriage classes and love learning about marriage- we've attended 3 in our 3.5 years of marriage.

15. I like to try and solve people's problems for them.

16. My insecurity in my appearance has never been so low.

17. I want new curtains in my dining room and living room.

18. It's been almost 8 weeks since I've had my daughter and I cannot remember what it's like to sleep through the night. Or go to work.

19. I love the show the first 48 on A&e.

20. I love documentaries and real life shows on drugs and gangs. I find it incredibly interesting.

21. I know someone who used to be a crack dealer... I would love to ask him what it was like... But I never can. That was made clear.

22. I knew I wanted to marry my husband after meeting him only 3 times.. I thought that was creepy... So I changed my thought to to "someone just like him, if not him.

23. I hoped our child would have his lips. And she does!!!!! And they are beautiful!!

24. Growing up I never thought I'd make it to adulthood. Yet here I am.

25. I am living my dream life. And it is because of my husband. The truth. I am.

Currently

-I am breastfeeding my 6 week old daughter, and holding her hand.

-exhausted

-de junked my kitchen for 2 hours today.. It feels great, but I could still do another hours worth

- have a photo session that I need to finish editing.

- along with 500 other projects.

-my bedroom needs clothes dejunking badly!

- my daughter is 6 weeks old and I'm feeling like I am just getting the hang of things! I'm loving it!

2013 Goals

I am going to make this short and simple, I have no idea what to expect with our baby and the first year of our first baby.... my 2013 goals are this...

(so these are probably a given, but I want to write them down)

- be the best Christian I can be

- be the best wife I can be

- be the best mother I can be

- learn to have more patience

-be better at household things

-save our family as much money as possible by doing things myself,learning things, such as gardening, making our own laundry soap, breastfeeding, etc.

-grow my photography business by double. 

-lose 60 lbs 

2012 in review

A year ago today I wrote THIS post  about my goals for 2012. I surprised myself by not writing down "to have a baby" because this was something we have/had been trying since 2011, but  I figure I left it out because I felt it was out of my control. Well as you all know.. IT HAPPENED! Well I haven't had the baby yet, but I am about to "pop" :) 5 days away from my estimated due date!

I think I wrote great goals for 2012!

2012 goals:

- Continually grow and develop in my relationship with Christ

- Grow an even stronger bond with my husband (I am so excited about this! It is hard to describe, but I love him so much, and he is forever my husband and I am excited to just get to know and learn and grow in our marriage as we go into our 3rd year of marriage) 

- Process and procedures and growing in my photography business! 

- work on gaining more self confidence

- eat healthier

- get more organized! 

Overall I think I did a good job with these goals. Of course with these goals there isn't an "end" to them, but I feel I really did work on them, and achieve them! I still want to work on each of these! But I know 2012 I made progress in each area and I love that! :)

I love growing in my relationship with Christ, and while I admit some days are better than others, weeks better than others, etc. I am growing and developing and striving for that better relationship.

I have never felt closer to my husband, so far each year of marriage has proven better than the last. I love him with all my heart, and I feel so blessed that he is my husband. This year I have really grown to appreciate all he has done for me. He truly has made my life better. And I really mean that. He "saved me" from a bad relationship I was in. He has made me realize that I can do whatever I want if I work for it. He has made my dreams come true, and does it joyfully. I have never met more of a selfless man. He has such a genuine and pure heart. I know our daughter will have her bar set high for her standards for men, because I am not sure anyone can beat her dad. 

My photography business grew a lot this year! and I LOVE it! I can't wait to see what 2013 brings! I hope it can grow even more.. I have a hope that I can double again this year. 

Self confidence- I will be working hard this year on that! I can't say I made much progress on that in 2012, pregnancy has really been tough on my self confidence in the physical aspect. 

eating healthier- I did overall pretty good in 2012! I hope to improve more in 2013! 

getting more organized- I definitely did that in 2012! A few things need more organization, and then it will be maintenance. :) 

biggest news for 2012- and what kind of consumed my blog this year. :) 

beautiful pics of moi,3rd trimester hormones & a beautiful quote

"A mark for every breath you took, every blink, every sleepy yawn. One for every time you sucked your thumb, waved hello, closed your eyes and slept in the most perfect darkness. One for every time you had the hiccups. One for every dream you dreamed within me.

It isn't very pretty anymore. Some may even think it's ugly. That's OK. It was your home. It's where I first grew to love you, where I lay my hand as I dreamed about who you were and who you would be. It held you until my arms could, and for that, I will always find something beautiful in it."

-Author unknown

I have been wanting to take some nice maternity pictures of myself, my husband and I are taking some ourselves this weekend, but I knew I wanted to try some more "artsy" ones as well. I wanted to feel beautiful. I have really been struggling with that (more than I thought I would). I just don't feel beautiful and I don't feel that anyone sees me as beautiful and pregnant. 

I really am happy with how these two pictures turned out, however it was not easy going. There was lots of tears and I may have told my husband I hated him... during this picture taking process .. in which he said "I think these are 3rd trimester hormones coming out again" I love my husband. He is so true and honest, and I love the way he comforts me. 

PS- the obsessive labeling of the TGB photography is mainly because this is my body, without my face, and I don't want people to steal these pictures of my body, because I am still insecure, just trying to work on loving who I am.. 

A lesson personal lesson in pricing photography

As my business grows, as my experience has gone up, as my ability has improved, as my confidence has improved I have raised my prices.


 I am not 100% at where I want my prices to be, but I am well on my way to eventually making it there! I am also so much closer to where I want to be than I was a short year ago!

Every so often I will offer discounted prices to people, in different forms.

I never saw anything wrong with that, until lately. I have realized that the less I charge, the less people trust me. The less I charge the less people trust my ability as a photographer and the less they appreciate what I give them.

 I didn't really think that was true until I have experienced it for myself several times. I know it isn't the case for everyone, but a few experiences especially lately has really driven that home for me.( I do have a good friend, that really appreciates the pictures I do for her and her family, and I can see and feel that.  I am so thankful for that! And love taking photos for her because her and her family really do appreciate me and my work)

 I had a session where I felt it was spiralling out of control. I couldn't figure out why.I got to realize they didn't trust me as a photographer. Replaying everything in my head, the whole scenario, hashing it out with someone close to me, I came to realize they didn't respect me. but it was my fault, I didn't charge them what I was worth. I was cheapening myself. Cheapening there experience.


It was a huge eye opener for me. I need to know my worth, and embrace it. When I do that people will have a better experience, they will get better photographs, they will have better memories, they will treasure the portraits more.

I heard another photographer say something like this ( I may have put in Target and Macy's but same concept)  if you buy a shirt from Target for $10 and you buy a shirt from Macy's for $80, which shirt will you treasure more? Which one will you take better care of? Which shirt will stay engrained in your memory?

I feel this was a great lesson for me! After spending a lot of time thinking about these scenarios I have never felt more confident about my pricing,  I am proud of my pricing, and the photographs and products I produce!

I will not be offering such big discounts anymore. It is cheating myself and my clients.

potentially high risk

I had a doctor appointment yesterday for the baby. I left feeling really good and happy! And then I got a phone call.. my midwife wants me to see a high risk OB/GYN. Now I am feeling bummed.

Here is the story..

I was diagnosed with having a partially positive MTHFR, which is a rare blood clotting disorder. My original doctor wanted me to take the baby aspirin until I was 36 weeks pregnant. I did some research, talked to 2 other family members who were diagnosed with this as well, and I decided to stop taking the baby aspirin.

I went and saw a new midwife yesterday, she asked why I was on baby aspirin, I told her why they put me on it, and then told her that I stopped, she said she would talk to another midwife about what they think I should do (they just got back from an MTHFR seminar)

I get a phone call 3 hours later, letting me know she wants me to see a high risk OB/GYN to discuss my MTHFR.

My husband said they call it MTHFR for a reason because its a motherF'er.... that made me laugh!! :)


I am completely bummed. I don't want to be high risk. I don't want to have any complications. I want to have the freedom of all other non high risk pregnant peeps out there.

I was cheered up this morning when I opened my eyes and saw this:

lately

 







8 weeks and 16 weeks 4 days! :)

 I love love love watching the difference between my belly! I love comparing  8 weeks to what  am now pictures, and I feel validated that my belly really is growing!! :) Often times I wonder if I just imagine it, but it really is there!

Also I will note that I think I may have possibly felt a kick yesterday and today, although it could be gas, and all other sorts, it was exactly what I had imagined a kick would feel like. Just softer. I am sure I will know in a couple weeks if what I felt twice was really a kick.They were quiet times near my hip bone on my right side (where I find the heartbeat as well)  

Disclaimer- I also know anytime now I could feel a kick, so I could be hyper aware, but I swear I felt what I felt like a kick twice! and that really gets me excited. But I know realistically it could be a gas bubble, stretching ligaments, or whatever other crazy things are going on inside my body!

I have really felt the urge to bond with my  baby. But I am struggling.. I just don't know how to yet... I love it more than life itself! But I feel I should be doing more than loving it (and growing it) ... I think Jordan and I should start talking to him/her at night time, I think they can start to hear soon, if not already.

My thoughts on breastfeeding

I thought it would be fun for me to talk about my thoughts on certain topics before I experience motherhood. It will be fun to look back and see how much my thoughts stayed the same or turned out differently. I will do a follow up post after I have experienced breastfeeding for a while, and see how things turn out! :)


My thoughts on breastfeeding...
 before I have any experience what so ever.


I really want to breastfeed. I am willing to do whatever it takes to give it my best shot. I am well aware (in the non experienced kind of way) breastfeeding is hard work and doesn't come easily for mom and baby's sometimes. So I know there is a chance that it won't happen, or that I may not be able to for as long as I would like. However. My thoughts are this:  I want to do whatever it takes to breastfeed. I want to fight hard for it, and hope that over time it would become easy for me and the baby and we will get our groove thing and be a great team of milk supplier, and milk eater.

 I want to exclusively contact feed for the first maybe 6 weeks. Then I still would like to mainly contact feed but when husband and I go out for date night, have grandparents watch the baby and pump and bottle feed, also have dad in on the action of feeding once in a while. I don't have the details or know how baby's react to the different feeding method, or how to introduce both kinds of feeding yet.

I want to continue giving my baby breastmilk for the first year of baby's life. I think once the baby gets on solid food, or we start introducing food, and milk isn't a huge source of baby's diet (again not sure when that is) I would like to stop contact feeding and strictly pump.


My fears of breastfeeding

-that I will hate it! I am so scared that I won't like the feeling of  breastfeeding. I am afraid that it will annoy me. Realistically I don't think I will, but a tiny part of me, is like " what if I don't like it"

-that I won't be able to handle it. That I will struggle with supply and melt in the high stress of it all. I know my husband and family would be supportive if that happened, but I as a mom, I want to enjoy it, love it, and handle it all with ease (in my dreams, right?)

-lastly that I won't produce enough. I have listened to my friends and heard what their doctors told them and read some blogs about it, so this fear has dwindled down and is pretty small fear. I do know that there is a chance, small chance, but stilla chance that I can't produce enough milk. I am so thankful for having such open friends because I have learned awesome things such as cluster pumping among others that help with supply if  I do happen to struggle with that.


I plan on using any and all people to ask questions and to hopefully help guide me through the breastfeeding journey.

I also do know that if for whatever reason breastfeeding doesn't work out, I will be ok with formula. I know so many baby's that are on formula instead of breastmilk and that is fine with me. I know that the baby will be fine. I believe its important for mom and baby to be happy, and if they can't find a solution with breastfeeding formula works!

 (Ok now remember, I am a first time mom.. you know we are crazy!I am telling you my thoughts and envision. I FULLY know these things may not pan out that way. so take my thoughts for what they are... thoughts in my head)

a good read (an article- teaching children a little respect)

I just want to stop in quick and say I loved this article! 



Teaching children a little respect




I feel like so many kids out there that lack respect for adults. That is one of my fears when I become a mother, I want my child to respect adults, peers and things. 


I love the suggestions this article offers. Sometimes I think about it, and think "How can I do that" and this article just kind of lays it out there pretty simplistically, which I love! :)




I hope to be a good example to my future children, and reading things like this is such a great reminder for me! I just hope I can remember this when I do become a mom! 


Have a fabulous Friday!