cranky pants

apparenly those are the pants I put on today. I am so frustrated, irritated and sensitive today. I feel like nobody has faith in me, everyone jumps out ahead of me when I am supposed to be leading. that is frustrating. just because i do it differently doesn't mean its wrong or worse. If you had faith in me you would see I was about to open my mouth a milisecond after you did. I was going through the thought process planning it all out in my head, seeing if others were going to join. Just because you dont like the way my voice is doesn't mean you can take over for me. Just because you fear I am not organized doesn't mean I am not. Because I am. Let me sort it out, don't "save" me let me learn from not being as organized, let me get my own ryhthm down. Just because I am not very vocal about my infertility doesn't mean I dont think about it less than others who struggle. Just because I tell you I have a positive outlook about it doesnt mean I dont need support and have moments of extremely terrifying moments when I see a baby and pray that I will get one too. Just because I seem strong doesnt mean  I always am. Just because I seem so independent doesn't mean I don't need a random hug once in a while or a random touch on the shoulder/back/arm. Just because I tell jokes doesn't mean I'm not sensitive.

Now be nice to me and respect me for who I am before my dog eats you for a snack. :)

ps- I am in such a bad mood I don't care if I capitalized my i's and used bad punctuation and such, but this post helped me relieve some of that so I started to care a little more.