All day today I have felt out of it, tired and lazy. I spent most of my day playing with Adeline outside, which was awesome! But I was just not motivated to do housework. I called my husband at work and let him know I was too tired to clean so not to expect anything awesome when he came home. I laid in bed and drank 32 ounces of water because I was thirsty. Then all of a sudden I start cleaning the bathroom and cleaning up the kitchen... Water never ceases to amaze me! I mean what a mood changer and energy changer! I love water. I know and have known for years how important water really is. But gosh tonight just reminded me.. again. Water for the win.
This is Adeline eating dinner after playing outside. I think it wore her out a litte. haha
I am so excited! I am getting my ring resized! (the title didn't give that away or anything.. haha) It is on its way to New York right now! Have I told you it is a Tiffany & Co ring?! I love my ring so much! I love the man who gave it to me much more. but it is the most beautiful ring. It is a ring beyond my dreams. And I haven't been able to wear it for about 2.5 years because I gained weight... I am finally at a place in my life where I am accepting myself and body more than I ever have.
I know I won't drop these 50 lbs in 6 months. I know realistically I am on a life long journey of health and fitness. So I got my ring sized so I can finally wear it again, but also I feel like it is part of my "healing" process of accepting and loving myself and my body and not having these unrealistic expectations of myself.
I get it back April 10th and I cannot wait! I will be flashing that baby around like no tomorrow! :) Feel free to roll your eyes. I would too. haha. But I am like "little kid going to disneyland" excited for this ring to come back and fit beautifully on this little hand I have! :)
I was tickling Adeline's belly this morning, and the pure joy and glee she was expressing brought me to tears. It was such a precious moment that I will remember forever. I love how she loves me, and how I am her world right now.
I hope to be the best mother to her ever. I hope to be her best friend, I hope we always can giggle and laugh like that. I hope she always comes to me for comfort. I hope she always comes to me for snuggles.
She has started babbling like crazy. I die. It is the cutest thing ever.
Here you go (sounds like "here- a- go)
Thank you (dink you)
I got it
Now she doesn't say them on command or anything, but pretty consistently. "Hi, OK, Yea, dadda and mama" is random but Here you go and thank you is said 85% of the time when she hands you something and you hand it back to her. (its a game she loves) "I got it" is generally said when she is chasing a ball and we are playing a game. :)
Today was the second day I went to the gym. I am two for two! Woot woot! It was the first time I dropped Adeline off at the gym's daycare they told me "she did good, for it being her first time." She is a mama's girl. :)
The first day I worked out at the gym I was really insecure, felt like I didn't belong, I was afraid to work up too much of a sweat afraid my fat would jiggle too much, afraid people would judge me.
Today was much better. I went in, was a lot more confident. It was forced confidence but confidence non the less. I hopped on the treadmill, warmed up, ran a pathetic amount, walked and then moved on to the weight machines.
I can't wait until I can see a difference! I feel like my day is a little longer now since going to the gym (I know.. its only been two days! haha)
I am going to make this a habit. I am going to make this our ritual. This is a lifestyle change. (note to self: repeat until you believe)
picture from helpwithweightloss.org
What do I want to accomplish by going to the gym?
1. Most importantly, self confidence. My self confidence has never been so low. And I want it back. I can't stand how insecure I am!! If someone looks at me I want to melt into the wall! And that is not who I am. I love to laugh, I love to have fun! I used to enjoy being the center of attention. Now all I think is "oh I bet they think she has gotten so fat." I want to be comfortable in my own skin and be confident again.
2. Get to wedding weight!
3. Get fit & healthy
4. Get alone time. I feel that ever since I had Adeline I lost myself in motherhood. I never looked in the mirror. I never took more than 3 seconds to put an outfit together. I don't really ever go anywhere without Adeline. So I think going to the gym working on myself and getting alone time will be great for me! :)
Jordan and I sat down and discussed the possibility of me joining a gym (my prompting) a few days ago. It is a huge financial commitment for us. This decision was not taken lightly by either of us. Jordan and I are very conscious of every penny we spend, and where we put it. So we discussed what my goals are in going to the gym, and then decided I needed a plan.
I am scared.
Jordan and I discussed that with me going to this gym I am making a commitment to go at least 5 days a week, and also to meal plan, and prepare my days for success. We are expecting results.
We made the leap! We did a tour today and I honestly can't wait to get started!!!
I was so overwhelmed walking through the gym, envisioning myself and Adeline going there every day. I felt like I was in a trance as they talked to me, showed me things and asked questions. Then I left the gym, it sank in a bit and now I am really excited!!
I am scared. I am scared I won't lose weight. I am scared I won't go all the time. I am scared that Adeline won't like the daycare, so I won't be able to take her. I am scared of all the excuses I may come up with.
However, I am slowly removing all of my excuses for not losing weight. I got a gym membership, the gym has a daycare so I can bring adeline, it has weights, pool, classes, treadmills, all the keys to success, as far as the physical part goes.
I feel really good about this! I feel like this is what I need and I am excited to head to the gym and make it apart of my every day life! I am excited that I am taking action in reaching my goal of losing weight!
so here we are... in the comfort of our home... before the gym obsession begins.. :)