Monday, February 28, 2011


I love my little 8 month old English Bulldog, Porkchop. I love him dearly. However when I take a look around my house, my heart sinks a little bit at how he ate some of our MOST expensive things in the house. Our days of being able to set our food on the floor and not have it eaten has been taken away, or ability to never worry about how long and how often we have been gone is now gone. But even when my heart sinks a little bit at how he has utterly destroyed some beautiful pieces of furniture. He is worth it. He is our little bundle of dog joy.

This is my mom's she let us use it since she wasn't currently used it... sorry mom. 

This is a table that goes in between our chairs

Another chair he thought would be tasty

Our bed. 

Our dresser

One of our bookshelves
Not pictured: dining room chairs, othersides of the same furniture and an end table downstairs.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

A couple of my favorites!

Here are a couple of my favorites that I took last week. I am excited to share them with everyone! These kids are so adorable and they were very well behaved for having their pictures taken! It was fun!

Sweet Shot Day

Friday, February 25, 2011

Run-in, Run-in (you know from the black eyed peas song, the man voice)

On Tuesday my husband and I had decided that we were going to time our miles so off to the community center we went. We walked a half mile for our warm up, then I ran my mile while my husband sat, watched, timed, and counted my laps.  My official time was 12:46 (is that how you do minutes and seconds?). I am was not very proud of that number and am was a little discouraged. This fall was the last time I had run and at that time I was running 3 miles and at that time was running 12:33 per mile, but that was running a total of 3 miles and dividing my time by 3 to get my average per mile! This was my very first mile and I was almost 15 seconds slower and no way would I had made it another 2 miles!! I was hardly finishing the mile! But today I was thinking about my recent weight gain and being hard on myself (as usual) and how I slowed down in my running, gained weight and not eating very healthy. Then I remembered how I started out running, I joined the c25k program and at first I thought I wouldn't make it running a whole minute at a time!  I ran for 12 minutes and 46 seconds with out stopping! That is a great accomplishment, regardless of how far I went!  I remember hitting the 10 minute mark of straight running for the first time in my life, and how proud of myself I was! And when I hit that 20 minute mark I started to think of myself as an actual runner, not a wanna-be! I really need to give myself credit for the progess I have made! I am not where I want to be, but I am glad I am not where I used to be! (thank you Joyce Meyers for teaching me that) I have a goal that before winter comes to run a 10 k! That would just be awesome for me! My first time back running since I have gained more weight I can definitely feel it when I am running and I can't wait to lose it!
I don't want to focus too much on exercise, because I know that 80% of weight loss is diet! And that is really what I struggle with! I am attempting to figure out a balance in my life with eating, weight loss and exercise! So far today has been great!  I have eaten oatmeal, grapefruit, strawberries and a little bit of chocolate. I am still doing good for my calories ( I am at 450) since I have been up for 5 hours. I am going to try and weight like 45 minutes and then eat about 450 more calories (my lunch) and then I should be good to go until dinner! And as long as I am within 300-600 calories I am all set to lose weight (for today anyway! :)

Thursday, February 24, 2011

This is how we sleep

 What is wrong with sharing the bed with this 50 lbs cutie...

Seriously, that is how much room he left me for through the night. I slept on my side with that much room with his butt pressed against me as tight as it could go, and if I squish him too much, he kicks me. Apparently, he needed mama cuddling time.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

You Capture- Anything that starts with "L"

This week the you capture from I should be folding Laundry blog was anything that starts with "L" so I went through the list of things like "lake", light, and that was about it. I knew I wasn't going to drive to a lake to take the picture, as much as I would like to pretend I would! My light pictures... well they sucked.  So then I was sitting with my hubby and we were watching a movie and it hit me!  I could do lashes! So here are his beautiful lashes! 


Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Fairy princess

This is one of the pictures I took on Sunday, and I just love this picture! So far this I think is definitely in the top of my favorite pictures!  It reminds me just being a care free child, no worries, just playing and living in that imagination land! This picture just makes me happy!  I know some people may not like it because it may be too over edited for their taste but honestly that is what I wanted in this picture because the surreal feel is what I was going for. Do you guys get the same feel for this picture that I get?

Monday, February 21, 2011

Sweat socks, how I adore thee

are these not the cutest little socked feet ever!?

This is one of the pictures from Sunday that I love!

As many of you know, especially my co-workers, I love me some sweat socks! I think they are the most comfortable socks a person can wear! They keep my feet all nice and warm, they are soft, and they add extra cushion to my step and I think sweat socks are adorable. Even on me! I will agree with my fellow co workers that they don't look the best with my dress shoes and dress pants, but 99% of the time you can't even see them! Anyways... just thought I would share my love for these socks with you!! Because this picture makes me happy! :) And when I have my own children... they will SO be in these socks!

My beautiful rose from my valentine!

My husband and I didn't do much for valentine's day, since we had people at our house, but he did get me this beautiful rose and a box of chocolate with a card! It was more than I needed! 

Sunday, February 20, 2011

weekend eating review

What do you know.. another over eatin' weekend! But the food tastes so incredibly delicious, I can't help myself! Then Sunday night hits I have eaters remorse. I am looking back at all the chocolate, PF Chang's, Jimmy Johns and chips I ate that I REALLY shouldn't have! It just frustrates me beyond belief! I just wish I could be perfect in the eating category and lose weight with the snap of my finger. I will gladly take 1-2 lbs every week! I know I can do it. I just REALLY struggle with it. However, the husband and I had a fabulous date night on Saturday! We went to the movies (dollar theater! OH YEA) which of course I ate butterfinger mini's and a diet mountain dew. Then we went to PF Changs, which was delicious! I didn't eat all of the food, but hello have you seen there portion sizes... it is made to share. So that doesn't really make me feel all that better. Then we went home and made chocolate covered straweberries for desert (picture is here) again... doesn't make me feel any better. Then today (Sunday) I had honey nut cheerios for breakfast with toast, then for lunch I ate some PF Chang left overs, and then for dinner I had chicken, zucchini and mashed potatoes! It was delicious! However, my portion control did NOT exist. I also had 2 big glasses of Hawaiian punch, which is more calories. I am frustrated! So many good foods this weekend I really just couldn't help myself! I guess weight loss is a learning process, but I just want to lose the weight already! I have been talking about it for over a year now. Time to get on with it! But this week, no excuses, I am going to lose 2 lbs! Mark my words! I am not going to let this over eating weekend get me down! I am going to drink water, stay below my calorie range and stay active! I can do this! I will do this!

PS- in one of my previous blogs here. I mentioned that the hubby and I were going to go downtown and search for things that made letters, well the weather was too cold, and now we are in a blizzard! But hopefully in a month we will be able to do that for a date night! So stay tuned! :)

Scavenger hunt

This is my first week joining the Scavenger hunt! It was a lot of fun! I feel like I could have done better. But it was my first time! :) 

1. Chocolate
(part of hubby and my date night!) 

2. Numbers 


4. Music
(it's a card I bought my hubby for V-day)

5. stack

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Crafting night with the some lovelies!!

I had so much fun going out to eat and crafting with these ladies! They are so talented! (me on the other hand, that is up in the air, so far sewing.. not my forte) I can't wait to plan a craft-a-thon with them!! It will be a lot of fun! Yea we know how to live it up! :) But seriously, Can't wait for the next craft date!

Macro Friday- Sewing

My sewing machine!   :)

Friday, February 18, 2011

This weekend has promises!

I am going to have some great pictures to post from this weekend! You should be SUPER STOKED! Because I am! hehe!  Tonight I am meeting up with two of my best friends! My sister and The Small town mom! We are going out to dinner to talk each others ears off, then going back to my house to do something SUPER secret and SUPER cool! :) Ok, just kidding it isn't a secret but it is SUPER COOL. We are going to craft!! Yes, that is right! They are bringing their sewing machines, and crochet stuff and we are going to craft and chit chat! Seriously, not sure what else could be more fun! Then on Saturday the husband and I are spending some uber quality time together! And since I am the creative one he said I get to decide what we are doing(famous last words)... we are going to make chocolate covered strawberries (which totally just reminds me I ate all the strawberries this morning,oops) And then as long as the weather is nice we are going to go to downtown and take some pictures of things that spell letters ( does that have a name?) Then on Sunday I am going to be taking pictures of some cute little kiddo's and will also be getting girl scout cookies!  This weekend is going to be awesome! Can 5:30 come now please? I seriously have such a fun filled weekend and the photographic journal of this weekend will knock your socks off! :)  Also while we are out and about downtown I think I will be doing some photo challenges! Super excited (oh did I say that already?) :)

Sorry for the lack (super cool) pictures, but I am on my lunch break, and they would frown upon me downloading editing software and playing with pictures on here. And not to mention I would probably get not-one-single-thing done at work if I did that, and then that would lead to me not having a job, which would lead to my husband and I not having a very pleasant conversation, which would probably lead to us living in a cardboard box outside of my husbands work because we would have to sell our cars and everything else. So you get the picture.. about the picture! HEHE.

ok I totally just realize that "things that spell letters" does not make sense. so you will just have to see what I am talking about! Because I don't know how to explain it... clearly.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Can I get a side of Skinny, please?

 Since I have never talked about my weight on this blog, how about I start when I got engaged? Yes, ok I will start there..

I got engaged on December 13th 2008 at 3:30 am, we had just gotten home from the airport, we had taken a trip to San Diego to see his wonderful cousin! We went to a concert and the San Diego zoo, my hubby and his poor cousin had to walk the zoo for 6 hours with me, because well I LOVE the zoo... Well I LOVE watching animals and seeing them ALL! So they suffered and I didn't notice a thing because I was in heaven! Anyways... I was at my heaviest weight at that time and I was so insecure, I felt uncomfortable, my clothes just weren't fitting right, I couldn't breathe (I was having major allergy issues that year too), and of course my hubby is thin, and really healthy and that wasn't helping my insecurities (Hopefully our future children will get that gene! :)  I just felt like a hippo around that time!
 So we got engaged and I started really focusing on losing weight! I lost 20 lbs for the wedding! And I looked good on my wedding, it wasn't where I wanted to be, but I felt a lot better about myself! Now fast forward 1.5 years.. back at my heaviest!!! I feel like I could cry!! I do not want to be this weight. I keep talking about it, and talking about it, and talking about it but I really am not doing anything about it! I get so frustrated with myself! I will do good and then its like I lose 2 lbs and that same day I see I lost 2 lbs  I will totally over eat and gain them RIGHT back! I just want to look good and feel good and be confident again!!

I know what I need to do, I need to stay in my calorie range, I need to drink lots of water, and be active on a consistent basis! But do I? NO.

What am I going to do about it? BLOG ABOUT IT OF COURSE! :) I figure you guys can help keep my accountable! :) and maybe this will help keep my accountable! I am hoping that blogging about weight loss and things will help keep my excited about it. :)  I IDEALLY want to lose 45 lbs,  but I will be happy with 30-35! Okay, I will even be happy with 20! :) But I know I can do this. I just have to be consistent!

Here is a picture of my handsome hubby and puppy on graduation day. And even though my puppy is the cutest thing alive (in my eyes) I don't want to be Porky(thats his name, pun totally intended) like him!

Here is what I am going to make for dinner tonight!

Nice and healthy fish! I will be making broccoli too, because I can't eat fish without broccoli! It just doesn't seem right!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

He so crazy!

I could just squeeze him all day long! :) This is him playing with his toy. I am pretty sure he chews 5 hours a day, and the other 19 hours he is sleeping. No Joke. But he is my love! :) In case you didn't know he is an English Bulldog, 7 months old 45 lbs (3 weeks ago) named Porkchop. He is my furbaby.


This was the very first day the snow started to melt here! My driveway was snow packed... NOW a river! but it definitely represents warmth to me! I went all day without a jacket! That is amazing for February! In one week it was a 40 degree temperature warm up! Lovin the life! :)

ok I decided to add one more picture! :)

Spring is coming! Spring is coming!


Sunday, February 13, 2011

Oh Books....

How I love you so!

I love to read and I always have. I remember one summer I read 15 books! Since then I have gotten a full time job,a dog, and a husband, so unfortunately my reading has gone down hill, extremely. But I still really enjoy it, and often wish I could read more.  In April 2010 my hubby and I went on our honeymoon (we couldn't afford one right after the wedding, and I wanted to wait until Winter was over) and during the honeymoon we each read like 5 books! That was awesome! We still had plenty of time to do LOTS of other things but we would lay on the beach and read, we would lay in bed at night and read, it was so enjoyable! I was able to really get into my books where I feel like now I am reading one chapter and going to bed, and I don't get to really delve into my book and get sucked in like I used to!

I miss that.

another goal of mine.. read more! :)

Saturday, February 12, 2011


I currently have two three year old little girls at my house.  I must say having two is actually easier than having just one. Well compared to what I am used too, I suppose! I will say my God daughter is QUITE the handful, so having my cousin(yes QUITE the age difference!)  here to preoccupy and play with her has been very nice and helpful (even though they are the same EXACT AGE well ok 14 days apart)! :) I love listening to their little conversations! It is adorable.

One of the most memorable moments will be for me when my cousin dropped her ring in the un-flushed toilet and started crying about her ring.... after facebooking the emergency got helpful advice from my mom to use a wire hanger! Got it out safe and sound. I have it quarantined until her dad comes, because although I rinsed it off, it just doesn't quite feel sanitary to be touched yet.

Friday, February 11, 2011

marriage & conflict

Michelle Huber Photography (our wedding day)

 As a newlywed (1.5 years into my marriage) I LOVE advice and  articles and basicaly  anything to do with marriage! I feel that I have so much to learn about marriage!  I mean I want my marriage to be the best and happiest that is possible! I want to have a husband/wife connection that is unbelievable. (my independence can get in the way of that sometimes but that is for another time)  My husband and I are hosting The art of Marriage growth group through our church on Monday (starts this monday! woohoo!) and I was on the website searching around and I found this article. and I felt like it was talking directly to me! I think this article is awesome! I know that not all of the article people will agree with or like, or even relate too but that is ok, there were parts I didn't really relate too yet either! But you can just take the general jist of what they are saying. I hope you guys like this article as much as I did! I found this article here.  Even if you don't just know I am still in my newlywed (somewhat) phase and trying to soak up everything about marriage that is possible so bear with me!

I think a lot of people are too quick to divorce. They are only willing to go through the good and happy times and not fight FOR their marriage in the bad times. I think we have become such a selfish society that at the first sign of unhappiness in a marriage people bolt. I guess when I got married I knew that marriage would be hard at times, but the good times would be worth it all. But that is all just my opinion. Hope you guys like the article! :) In my personal opinion I think people have to be 110% committed to making their marriage work otherwise every time you go through a difficult time in your marriage (or moment) you are going to wonder if you should get divorced. When I feel if you make a true committment to being married and staying married you aren't going to wonder whether you should get divorced or not, but come up with solutions to make things work and to make sure you both are happy. A lot of happiness, in my opinion is accepting the other person for who they are. Knowing the other person and how they process things, what makes them happy, what makes them sad, what makes them mad, how they go about dealing with things, really truly figuring out your spouse I think can really make the difference because than you can always make them feel better, and/or understand where they are coming from.

Six Steps for Resolving Conflict in Marriage
There is no way to avoid conflict in your marriage. The question is: How will you deal with it?
Dennis and Barbara Rainey

Few couples like to admit it, but conflict is common to all marriages. We have had our share of conflict and some of our disagreements have not been pretty. We could probably write a book on what not to do!
Start with two selfish people with different backgrounds and personalities. Now add some bad habits and interesting idiosyncrasies, throw in a bunch of expectations, and then turn up the heat a little with the daily trials of life. Guess what? You are bound to have conflict. It’s unavoidable.
Since every marriage has its tensions, it isn’t a question of avoiding them but of how you deal with them. Conflict can lead to a process that develops oneness or isolation. You and your spouse must choose how you will act when conflict occurs. 
Step One: Resolving conflict requires knowing, accepting, and adjusting to your differences. 
One reason we have conflict in marriage is that opposites attract. Usually a task-oriented individual marries someone who is more people-oriented. People who move through life at breakneck speed seem to end up with spouses who are slower-paced. It’s strange, but that’s part of the reason why you married who you did. Your spouse added a variety, spice, and difference to your life that it didn’t have before. 
But after being married for a while (sometimes a short while), the attractions become repellents. You may argue over small irritations—such as how to properly squeeze a tube of toothpaste—or over major philosophical differences in handling finances or raising children.   You may find that your backgrounds and your personalities are so different that you wonder how and why God placed you together in the first place.
It’s important to understand these differences, and then to accept and adjust to them. Just as Adam accepted God’s gift of Eve, you are called to accept His gift to you. God gave you a spouse who completes you in ways you haven’t even learned yet.
We were no exception. Perhaps the biggest adjustment we faced early in our marriage grew out of our differing backgrounds. I grew up in Ozark, Missouri, a tiny town in the southwestern corner of the “Show-Me” state. Barbara grew up in a country club setting near Chicago and later in Baytown, Texas. Barbara came into our marriage a refined young lady. I was a genuine hillbilly.
It was as though we came from two different countries with totally different traditions, heritages, habits, and values. The differences became apparent early in our marriage. Take furniture, for example. Barbara had an Ethan Allen dream book and she was always looking at it. It was full of things made of solid cherry, solid walnut, solid mahogany. It was nothing for chairs to cost $189.95—per leg.
I didn’t understand why she wanted to go buy this kind of stuff when, in southwest Missouri, you could go to K-Mart and get a formica table with chrome legs and six  chairs! And for a lot less than $189.95. You can eat off that kind of table for years and it will never show any wear.
So, how did we compromise? We bought an antique and I was expected to refinish it—which created an opportunity for another major difference in our backgrounds to surface. Barbara’s father was an engineer. He is mechanically gifted, can fix anything, and actually enjoys it. I’m convinced he could fix a nuclear reactor.
My dad had a background in sales. Fixing things was not his idea of fun. If bailing wire or a little duct tape wouldn’t work, he usually called the plumber or whatever repairman was necessary.
And so there we were, just married, with an antique table that needed refinishing. I went at it reluctantly, but I got it done. In some ways it saved our marriage in the early going.
Step Two: Resolving conflict requires defeating selfishness.
All of our differences are magnified in marriage because they feed what is undoubtedly the biggest source of our conflict—our selfish, sinful nature. 
Maintaining harmony in marriage has been difficult since Adam and Eve. Two people beginning their marriage together and trying to go their own selfish, separate ways can never hope to experience the oneness of marriage as God intended. The prophet Isaiah portrayed the problem accurately more than 2,500 years ago when he described basic human selfishness like this: “All of us like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way” (Isaiah 53:6). We are all self-centered; we all instinctively look out for number one, and this leads directly to conflict.
Marriage offers a tremendous opportunity to do something about selfishness. We have seen the Bible’s plan work in our lives, and we’re still seeing it work daily. We have not changed each other; God has changed both of us. The answer for ending selfishness is found in Jesus and His teachings. He showed us that instead of wanting to be first, we must be willing to be last. Instead of wanting to be served, we must serve. Instead of trying to save our lives, we must lose them. We must love our neighbors (our spouses) as much as we love ourselves. In short, if we want to defeat selfishness, we must give up, give in, and give all. As Philippians 2:1-8 tells us:
Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
To experience oneness, you must give up your will for the will of another. But to do this, you must first give up your will to Christ, and then you will find it possible to give up your will for that of your spouse.
Step Three: Resolving conflict requires pursuing the other person.
Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible, as much as it depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” The longer I live the more I realize how difficult those words are for many couples. Living peaceably means pursuing peace. It means taking the initiative to resolve a difficult conflict rather than waiting for the other person to take the first step. 
To pursue the resolution of a conflict means setting aside your own hurt, anger, and bitterness. It means not losing heart. My challenge to you is to “keep your relationships current.” In other words, resolve that you will remain in solid fellowship daily with your spouse—as well as with your children, parents, coworkers, and friends. Don’t allow Satan to gain a victory by isolating you from someone you care about. 
Step Four: Resolving conflict requires loving confrontation.
Wordsworth said, “He who has a good friend needs no mirror.” Blessed is the marriage where both spouses feel the other is a good friend who will listen, understand, and work through any problem or conflict. To do this well takes loving confrontation.
Confronting your spouse with grace and tactfulness requires wisdom, patience, and humility. Here are a few other tips we’ve found useful:
·         Check your motivation. Will your words help or hurt? Will bringing this up cause healing, wholeness, and oneness, or further isolation?
·         Check your attitude. Loving confrontation says, “I care about you. I respect you and I want you to respect me. I want to know how you feel.” Don’t hop on your bulldozer and run your spouse down. Approach your spouse lovingly. 
·         Check the circumstances. This includes timing, location, and setting. Don’t confront your spouse, for example, when he is tired from a hard day’s work, or in the middle of settling a squabble between the children. Also, never criticize, make fun of, or argue with your spouse in public. 
·         Check to see what other pressures may be present. Be sensitive to where your spouse is coming from. What’s the context of your spouse’s life right now? 
·         Listen to your spouse. Seek to understand his or her view, and ask questions to clarify viewpoints.
·         Be sure you are ready to take it as well as dish it out. You may start to give your spouse some “friendly advice” and soon learn that what you are saying is not really his problem, but yours!
·         During the discussion, stick to one issue at a time. Don’t bring up several. Don’t save up a series of complaints and let your spouse have them all at once.
·         Focus on the problem, rather than the person. For example, you need a budget and your spouse is something of a spendthrift. Work through the plans for finances and make the lack of budget the enemy, not your spouse.
·         Focus on behavior rather than character. This is the “you” message versus the “I” message again. You can assassinate your spouse’s character and stab him right to the heart with “you” messages like, “You’re always late—you don’t care about me at all; you don’t care about anyone but yourself.” The “I” message would say, “I feel frustrated when you don’t let me know you’ll be late. I would appreciate if you would call so we can make other plans.”
·         Focus on the facts rather than judging motives. If your spouse forgets to make an important call, deal with the consequences of what you both have to do next rather than say, “You’re so careless; you just do things to irritate me.”
·         Above all, focus on understanding your spouse rather than on who is winning or losing. When your spouse confronts you, listen carefully to what is said and what isn’t said. For example, it may be that he is upset about something that happened at work and you’re getting nothing more than the brunt of that pressure.

Step Five: Resolving conflict requires forgiveness.
No matter how hard two people try to love and please each other, they will fail. With failure comes hurt. And the only ultimate relief for hurt is the soothing salve of forgiveness.
The key to maintaining an open, intimate, and happy marriage is to ask for and grant forgiveness quickly. And the ability to do that is tied to each individual’s relationship with God.
About the process of forgiveness, Jesus said, “For if you forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions” (Matthew 6:14–15). The instruction is clear: God insists that we are to be forgivers, and marriage—probably more than any other relationship—presents frequent opportunities to practice.
Forgiving means giving up resentment and the desire to punish. By an act of your will, you let the other person off the hook. And as a Christian you do not do this under duress, scratching and screaming in protest. Rather, you do it with a gentle spirit and love, as Paul urged: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32).
Step Six: Resolving conflict requires returning a blessing for an insult.
First Peter 3:8-9 says, “To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.” 
Every marriage operates on either the “Insult for Insult” or the “Blessing for Insult” relationship. Husbands and wives can become extremely proficient at trading insults—about the way he looks, the way she cooks, or the way he drives and the way she cleans house. Many couples don’t seem to know any other way to relate to each other.
What does it mean to return a blessing for an insult? Chapter three of 1 Peter goes on to say “For, ‘the one who desires life, to love and see good days, must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit. He must turn away from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it’” (verses 10-11). 
To give a blessing first means stepping aside or simply refusing to retaliate if your spouse gets angry. Changing your natural tendency to lash out, fight back, or tell your spouse off is just about as easy as changing the course of the Mississippi River. You can’t do it without God’s help, without yielding to the power of the Holy Spirit. 
It also means doing good. Sometimes doing good simply takes a few words spoken gently and kindly, or perhaps a touch, a hug, or a pat on the shoulder. It might mean making a special effort to please your spouse by performing a special act of kindness.
Finally, being a blessing means seeking peace, actually pursuing it. When you eagerly seek to forgive, you are pursuing oneness, not isolation.
Our hope
As difficult as it is to work through conflict in marriage, we can claim God’s promises as we do so. Not only does God bless our efforts based on His Word, but He also tells us He has an ultimate purpose for our trials. First Peter 1:6-7 tells us,
In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
God’s purpose in our conflicts is to test our faith, to produce endurance, to refine us, and to bring glory to Himself. This is the hope He gives us—that we can actually approach our conflicts as an opportunity to strengthen our faith and to glorify God.

Ok so this post is ridiculously long. sorry! :)