Some of you may know that I am struggling with infertility from here and here and here and here. I have tried medication twice to get an induced cycle, because well it is dangerous to go this long without a cycle( I am being polite for you squeamish readers... appreciate). And to be honest I have secret hopes that it will kick start my body into knowing what it should do. Well this last attempt(taking meds), looked like it was going to work, it really did! I felt like it, seemed like it. But nothing. "of course." "Why would it work for me." Those are my negative, uncensored thoughts. But something finally clicked in me, and I have been on a role! ( Not to mention extremely emotional, and about to break down and cry at any moment in regards to me becoming a mother) But due to this whole medical jargon (that I won't get into) lots of women have had success getting pregnant when controlling their diet and exercise. GREAT!
I don't like telling people that because I am not infertile because I am fat. Actually I am not fat. I could lose weight, yes. But I am not fat. And I feel like when I tell people about how some women can get pregnant when they control their diet and exercise I feel like they think its because I am fat. I had someone say "oh, its a weight issue" (she also topped the scale at probably 90 pounds and is like 5'9... that didn't help) It isn't a weight issue, at all. It is a hormone issue, exercise releases a hormone that helps with something that could trigger my hormones to start doing what they should, and begin to go into their normal ranges! Also because of PCOS I am insulin resistant, so watching my carbs and sugars, will help as well. I knew I wanted to work on this and do this stuff, but I have so much that I want to get done and do that exercise got pushed off, and well carbs and sugar are my weakness. So it got pushed to the back burner. I was so inconsistent with my running, but since the warrior dash, and my husband got involved in running, I have been on a role this week! And it feels GREAT!! I ran 5 days out of the last 7 days! Tonight I ran my quickest! I also have recently made a decision to be carb conscious.
My birthday is less than a month a way and I know that it is going to be a hard day for me. I always thought I would be pregnant on this birthday, or have kids. To know that I have basically no chance whatsoever that this will happen by my birthday...sucks. oh yea.. positive thoughts.
It feels so wonderful to be on such a positive road in this journey. I do not know if I feel like my journey is close to the end, but I hope and pray that it is!
my awesome new running shoes! To go along with my attitude of I can do this!