Here is to the point. This may seem choppy and not clean. but these sentences are what I can form right now. Each sentence is uncut version of things in my head.
Uggh. I really wish I had a different outcome than I did. So the doctor told me that everything in my blood work is leading towards me having PCOS. Basically infertility. Good thing, there are lots of women out there who do get pregnant that have PCOS. Bad thing, PCOS causes infertility. That is me. I am infertile. doesn't seem real. I keep hoping that it will just happen. With fertility treatments the success rate is 70%. Not exactly where I want my statistics to be. Who am I kidding. I want to be pregnant right now. I want to ovulate like a normal person. I want to get my period like a normal person. I want to have a "surprise" baby. I want to only try for 4 months and get pregnant. My biggest fear in life has always been that I wouldn't be able to be pregnant. I know weird. SO many people don't even think about pregnancy. This is something I have always wanted. I have always wanted to know the feeling of a child growing inside me. Ok anyways. I know my husband and I can get through this. We can. My sister has PCOS as well. We will get healthy together and get pregnant together. I am getting through this with faith right now. I am upset, very upset, so I try not to think of what exactly PCOS means in regards to infertility. I know it causes obesity. So I am working on fighting that. I am going to exercise as much as possible. And eat right. But all this is easier said than done. But I can do this.
I have 2 more doctor appointments set up. yay. Not.