brain dump

I feel like poo-poo. I am not sure why. I woke up and had a great time with the kids at my church, it has been awhile since I was with them and I really enjoyed it! After church I figured out a schedule for working my overtime that I was happy with and was feeling really positive and motivated.

I got to work and was immediately overwhelmed. I wasn't balanced (work talk, accounting type thing) which I needed to balance before I could move on. It took me way to long to fix my mistakes and then I wasn't moving as fast as I thought I should, which stressed me out, and then there was freezing rain so I thought I would leave work early because I just envisioned the roads being sheer ice. Well they weren't, they weren't great but not awful. Now I am just feeling blah. I don't feel good and I can't pin point it. I am not sure if it was something I ate, lack of water, stress or if I am actually getting sick. I hate that. I wanted to be so productive and I  just want to go to bed.  What is my deal?

On a happier note I had a realization that my husband is perfect for me!! For years I have wanted to be healthier. But I just don't do it. I know how to do it, I have all the tools, but I just haven't done it (well a little off and on)

My husband took over the grocery shopping and cooking dinner and it has worked out great! I give him my recipes I want and meal plan and he cooks me dinner! The healthy stuff that ideally I want to eat (but never did because chips and dip sounded so much better)   I am so thankful for him! With his help I know I will lose weight and be healthier! and today it just hit me, he really is making it all possible for me! He really teaches me to not let my emotions take over but just to do what I want (ideally) to get done. Now I just need to learn the application part.

I think another reason I am feeling like poo poo today is because I always have these things I want to accomplish in a week or in that day, and I just never do. It wears on me. Why can't I just do it? Why don't I just complete my daily list that I want to complete?

I also have so many things I want to do with my photography business I get stressed about that. I want to be out there and there are so many photo shoots I have not put on my facebook page, and I still have to work on designing my website! I need to finalize my contracts. I need to contact the state. I need to buy the website domain.

Oh and on top of that i want to work 55 hours  a week for the next couple weeks and then go on a trip to wisconsin dells for the weekend. So maybe in feb? But then I know something will happen in feb that will keep me busy and not allow me to do all the things I need to do! Isn't that how life always goes?

How do you guys keep your to do list realistic? How do you keep yourself from beating up on yourself for not completing all the things you want to complete?

I hope this post doesn't sound depressing or super negative because I am far from that, but just dumping my brain! :)

Sorry for the lack of pictures... ya know another thing to add to the list of things i want to do!

I do realize they are all WANTS and not things that I NEED to get done. And that does help, but just like a sliver.