Monday, January 31, 2011


My husband and I attended a friends wedding last year and the person marrying them ( I have no idea if they were a pastor, justice of the peace, or whatever else, I think it can't be a priest because she was female ..? anyway..) was talking about how people show love in different ways, some people gift give (my husband) some people touch (me), some people express it sexually(questionably my husband) and I can't remember the other two, because well, I didn't relate to those. I will always remember that because until that day I didn't fully understand that concept. I knew people expressed love differently but if I wanted to feel loved, I wanted to be touched (not sexually) but a hand on my back, hold my hand, touch my knee, tickle my back, give me a massage, have your arm touching my arm when we are sitting, be near me, because if I am not all love-y with you at that moment, I do NOT want you to touch me, or be near me. However my husband when he was feeling love-y towards me well wanted "to do the obvious" or he would all of a sudden decide to buy me something nice and something I have always wanted. When he would do this it didn't mean as much to me as it should have, don't get me wrong I REALLY appreciated it, but I didn't understand that this was his expression for love.

I am continually finding out and learning that marriage is really about the other person ( I will continue to find out even more since my husband and I are hosting a growth group through our church on the art of marriage, SUPER excited!) and I need to put my selfishness away and think of my husband/ our marriage. I have really grown a lot in that aspect, I still fail miserably sometimes but I am working on it.  When we first got married I wanted things to be arranged like "if I feel like it then I will, but if I don't want to, I'm not going to" and I would also act like " I am mad at you, because that is my feelings, I don't care, that is how I feel so it is right." I now very seldom get mad at him because I realized that I can't let my emotions control me and I need to accept him the way he is and just because he does things completely different than me (and I mean COMPLETELY) doesn't mean they are wrong or that my way is better.  I have learned so much in our one and a half year marriage I can't imagine what I will have learned in 50 years! :)


  1. Great post! I'd love for you to keep us updated on the growth group!!

  2. Me too! I asked Gabe if we could go, but he said no :( so keep me informed on the lessons! all easier said than done....but its great to try! I love the part about marriage really being about the other person. It is so hard to not get lost in the "what I wants"
    P.S love the pic!